Love
Your Shins …
(aka –
Mow Against The Grain)
By Compilation[1]
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Find out what your niche is, because that
leads to riches.
-
Beer from a can always tastes two degrees
cooler than beer from a bottle, even if they're the same
temperature. I don't know why I'm not a physicist, but I am a
beer drinker.
-
Never drink anything with an umbrella, a fruit
wedge, or a plastic monkey in it.
-
Remember, butter first, milk second, then add
the cheese powder.
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Inhale deeply and often, you're payin' for the
nicotine, you might as well get the most out of it.
-
Don't be the type of person who sits around
talking about his own genitalia.
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I tell you what you do man you take one of
these little ol' dollar bills man, ol' George Washington on there
get one of those cartoon balloons man.
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Enjoy your body, use it everywhere you can,
feel good about your body, show it to everyone.
-
Your feet are not as big as you think they
are.
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Enjoy your body, almost any part can make a
fart noise. In between your toes, behind your knee, inside the
elbow, even behind your ear, from your chin to your neck, and of
course, you have your armpit.
-
Always read the directions, enjoy your
spatula, use it everywhere you can, if it rusts, don't be afraid of
what people think of it, it is the greatest instrument you will ever
own.
-
Write your locker combination where you'll
remember it, but not inside your locker.
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Love your shins, them's the only ones
you got and you'll miss 'em when they're gone.
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Do one thing every day that scares somebody.
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Go to the bathroom every chance you can.
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Don't trust a man who spends more than $10 on
a haircut.
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Buy American, even if it doesn't work as well.
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Be kind to your wife, you may never know when
she just might leave ya for no reason.
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Do not read beauty magazines they will only
make you feel sorry for those skinny, little drugged out models.
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Mow against the grain.
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My lawn is my flag, it tells the world, here
lives a competent, trustworthy salesman of propane and propane
accessories.
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Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but
alone in your living room, alone, with a mop.
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Never throw out an old comb, a comb is one
tool that last a lifetime.
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Set aside time every day to check to see if
your fly is up.
-
Don't go to therapy, it'll only screw you up
more.
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Don't waste money on fancy soap.
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Never, ever trust a man who is wearing a
beret.
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If there's a better friend than a roll of duct
tape I'd like to meet him.
-
I tell you one thing man in any kind of relationship is dang ol'
communication, it's the most important thing in any kind of
relationship. I tell you what man what we have here is a failure to
communicate.
We believe that
MOST
all of this is very good advice!
We hope you have a
WONDERMOUS
week!!
.
[1]
Cohen, Hardwick, Judge, Freedland, Appel,
Croston, Aibel, Dauterive, Fybel, Boss, Collier, Hiscock Huyck,
Altschuler, R. Sall, Berger, Gregory, Krinsky, Daniels.
This is from the “King
Of The Hill” soundtrack, based on the “King
Of The Hill” television show (one of the bestest TV shows ever …
I tell you what!) Listen to
“Mow
Against The Grain” here.
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