The Border Collie Chronicles Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs; (but, without question, the bestest friends!) or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop. |
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Posted March 5, 2015 |
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Constipation[i]
… By Bubba
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NOTE: This isn’t me (duh) … or even Miss Hardway! It’s just some picture that dad found on the internet
that he thought fit the story!
You know that I am THE “deep thinker” of this group! I attribute a
whole lot of this depth due to my constipation! I mean, I can
constipate in the midst of almost any commotion (except
yelling or fireworks – either of these really messes up my karma,
don’t you know!!) I’ve
often caught myself constipating as I was walking across the yard – I
just collapse right there on the spot!
Let me get in dad’s chair on a Sunday evening and I will
constipate for as long as he lets me!!
Constipating is really good for everyone to
do … you see it actually exercises your brain’s muscles!
Really!! Now
before you start rejecting this thesis as some sort of crackpot
deal, or something related to some sort of faith or belief that you
don’t support – or, worse yet, some sort of east coast (or west
coast) liberal deal – stop and think about it for one or three,
sevenths, of a dog beer … all constipation is, is
the continuous and
profound contemplation or musing on a subject or series of subjects
of a deep or abstruse nature!
That’s it! … Pretty simple ... right?
What, oh yeah, I guess that definition was pretty abstruse
wasn’t it? Anyway, what
I am trying to say is that it is the studying or thinking on
something that is pretty difficult or hard to understand!
I’ll even go out on a limb and say that the thing that you’re
pondering doesn’t always have to be all that deep!
Maybe another way of explaining this is … well, it’s just
thinking things out, and through!
In any event, constipation has a sh*tload of benefits[ii]:
Anyway, believe it or
not, you can experience these benefits without sitting in weird
positions, repeating silly words, burning smelly stuff, or wearing
funny clothes! Yeah, you
can be “cool” and still constipate!
All you have to do is breathe!
Really! You don’t
need any special equipment or clothes or anything.
It’s simply just a matter of taking the time to concentrate
on your topic and, in most cases, slow your mind down and follow
your breath[iii].
You
can do it in any position in which can accomplish these small tasks.
While most folks recommend that you get in a quiet area and
sit still while constipating … there are those of us that think that
you don’t even necessarily have to have these things in order to
successfully constipate (though, when AC/DC is playing on dad’s radio
in the shop, when I am reviewing my article, constipation is kinda hard to
pull off!). In fact,
Buster Benson, the founder of 750words,
believes that writing can even be a form of constipation.
The concept of 750 Words is
pretty simple: every day, you type 750 words – the equivalent of
three pages – a stream of conscious, whatever you want, free
writing. You earn
e-points and e-badges (see our article,
Gamification, for our thoughts on that!) for every day you type
any number of words.
Your entries, which are supposed to be private by default, can be
exported at any point.
Now as a word of caution – we ARE NOT necessarily recommending using
750words or any other web based system – and none of us, on this
place, have ever used it.
But, we wholly support free writing, via any mechanism, as an
excellent method of release!
You see, to paraphrase Buster, a primary reason that this type of
constipation might work for some folks is that the physical act of
writing serves as a handrail on our thoughts and occupies a certain
part of the brain that generally gets restless and looks for
something else to do, because it’s already doing something:
writing.
Sometimes we all need to disable that restless squirrel in our
brains! This is why
activities like walking, showering, doing the dishes, gardening,
driving a tractor, etc. are all such great activities for stirring
up creative thoughts (though dad does NOT do the dishes!).
Free writing has the added benefit of providing a tangible
trail of thoughts as they rise up.
You’re essentially hitching a ride on your subconscious with
your fingers!
Looking a little deeper, a writing constipation isn't that much
different than journaling. The
main difference is that with “true” constipation, you observe your
thoughts rather than write about your day or to solve a problem.
In reflecting back on these BC-Chronicles (many of the
stories originated from “free writing” ramblings that dad later
attempted to organize into a set of stories.
They all generally started with a legal pad, pencil, and a
Coors Light, as doodlings or bullet points that often came across
faster than he could write them down).
We firmly believe
that writing can do
wonders for your health and sanity (we can’t imagine how messed up
that dad would be without it!). Beyond
keeping your creative juices flowing, regular writing gives you a
safe, cathartic[iv]
release valve for the stresses of your daily life, and you don't
have to write fiction to get them.
In a sense, BC-Chronicles serves as a pretty good journal of
things that have caused concerns to dad and has been a “funsy
little website that allows us (that's the BC's) to allow dad to vent
about life's ups and downs”.
We have never limited ourselves to 750 words and we
don’t even come close to publishing everything we write.
Sometimes we write all fast and furiously, just to re-read
later and then destroy (but we’d really recommend hanging on to it
for a day (or week, or year ... REALLY!) or two before destroying!).
Some of you may not know that prior to "The Chronicles",
that dad
catharticized (yeah – a new favorite word since I looked up the
definition!) with articles called “Time To Drive and Think”. Not only does regular
writing make you feel good, it helps you re-live the events that you
have experienced in a safe environment where you can process them
without fear or stress (maybe that’s why our early articles were
attempted to be written with some sort of plausible deniability
attached as
to the ownership of the site and why we kept it more of a secret
than of late. Hopefully,
you like some of the new pictures that we’re posting and our plan on
continuing to do so). I
have heard dad stress to folks (and he has had an open invitation to
EVERYONE who wants to publish on this site) to write down their
experiences, emotions, fears, and concerns.
If you don’t think that you’re a writer – or don’t want to
share with the big ol’ WWW – or don’t want to share with ANYONE! –
that’s great too! Take a
little time, every now and then, especially when you’re stressed,
scared, or excited, to do a little constipative writing!
You don’t have to solve any problems … you can just vent
about them! If just for
yourself … it doesn’t have to have proper grammar or punctuation –
it doesn’t have to be funny or even “good”.
But all of us BC’s believe that it will wind up to be
pretty dang deep if
you express your true thoughts, concerns, fears, and emotions.
Again – we urge you to put it in as safe of a place as you
deem necessary after finishing it, and be sure to read it in a day
or two – then … Rinse, Lather and Repeat!
Like meatloaf … leftovers are always better!!!!
As Always …
Best Wishes!
Bubba (the deep
.
Yeah … yeah … yeah … I know that some of you “don’t like to write” –
Additional Resource:
If silent or still meditation hasn't worked for you, check out this
link for additional ideas on how to
start a writing meditation.
Just keep in mind, it doesn’t really have to be complicated … just
get a pad, pencil (or pen) and start jotting down your thoughts!!
[i] This article was
predicated by (that is to say, inspired by or based upon)
the article “Try
a Writing Meditation If Sitting Still Isn’t Working For You”
[iv]
ca·thar·tic [kuh-thahr-tik],
ADJECTIVE:
[v]
"Salud" means "health" in Spanish. |
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