The Border Collie Chronicles Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs; (but, without question, the bestest friends!) or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop. |
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Posted July 13, 2017 |
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Daily Affirmations By Annie You know … even an
ossismistic[i]
dog like me needs some picking up occasionally.
Here are some of my favorites: I deserve
good things, I am entitled to my share of happiness.
I
refuse to beat myself up.
I
am an attractive person.
I
am fun to be with.
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!
But today,
I've decided to take a risk, and wear a new sweater.
It
was sent to me by a recovering sex addict, Melissa D., who knitted it
herself; she said it gave her something to do with her hands.
So,
basically, the strategy is:
You
get me to lie, because if I don't, everyone goes to jail for perjury?
I don't know what I'm doing.
They're
gonna cancel the show.
I'm
gonna die homeless and penniless and twenty pounds overweight and no one
will ever love me.
As we say
in program:
Progress,
not Perfection.
You're only as sick as your secrets.
Compare and despair.
You need a checkup from the neckup.
I am a human being, not a human doing.
It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
I am a worthy human being. .
I'm good enough, I'm smart enough,
and doggone it, people like me.
... and that's ... okay.
Wait
… I fibbed! I stole these
“Daily Affirmations” from the ol’ www.
They are mostly the creation of
Stuart Smalley.
If you don’t know who he is … he is a fictional
character invented and performed by comedian and satirist (and later a
(former) democratic United States Senator from Minnesota) Al Franken.
The character originated on the
television show Saturday Night Live, in a mock
self-help show called "Daily
Affirmation With Stuart Smalley." It
first aired on SNL's February 9, 1991 episode. Stuart participates in many (sometimes
fictional) programs, not limited to Overeaters Anonymous, Children of
Alcoholic Parents Anonymous, and Children of Rageaholic Parents
Anonymous. He is an effeminate
man with a perfectly coiffed bleached-blond hairdo, who regularly wears
a yellow button-down shirt with a powder blue cardigan. It is frequently hinted that Stuart may be gay,
but his sexual orientation is never clearly stated.
All his romantic partners have
names which could be male or female, like Dale, Chris, or Merle.
His father gripes, "You'd drink
too if you had Liberace for a son." Within the context of the show, Stuart is quick
to point out that he is not a licensed therapist but relies instead upon
the credibility of his own experiences as a non-professional.
His guests are very often
celebrities; however, Smalley is seemingly unaware of his guests' fame
as he never uses their full names so as to "protect (their) anonymity." You can watch an intro to “Daily Affirmations”
HERE (much more can be found on YouTube)! In closing, Dear
Stuart, your show gave me the courage to feel my feelings, and to feel
my feelings about my feelings, and my feelings about my feelings about
my feelings.
And
my ...
Annie |
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