Andy Rooney has always been one of dad’s favorites – dad tells us about
staying with Auntie Helen and Uncle Connie (Mommy 2 and Daddy 2 for many years),
a LONG time ago, and while sitting in his Uncle Connie’s lap during 60
Minutes, he had him explain what Andy was
talking about on TV (if you ever knew Uncle Connie, this might explain A
LOT!!!). In compiling this collection of quotes from all
over the internet, we have sort of noticed a definite “Andy Influence”
in dad’s writings and ramblings. You (and we) may not
agree with all of them, but give them a thought or too and see what YOU
think!!!
-
“Anyone who likes golf on television would enjoy watching the grass
grow on the greens.”
-
“Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on
someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out
enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The
thought for the day is share the love. Beep.' 'Uh,
yeah, this is the VD clinic … speaking of being positive, your test
is back. Stop sharing the love.”
-
“I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often
months go by.”
-
“Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes -
that's what I'm here for.”
-
“I am
interested in details. If you go into anything far
enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be
interested in what makes things work."
-
“The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.”
-
“I
obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people
have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they
say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.”
-
“I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe
it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't
think it does.”
-
“The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly
person.”
-
“We need
people who can actually do things. We have too many
bosses and too few workers. More college graduates
ought to become plumbers or electricians, then go home at night and
read Shakespeare."
-
“For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you
don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and
sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are
that you’re not going to be very happy. If someone
bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new
job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to
Paris, that person isn’t going to be happy much of the time. If,
on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in
the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with
quite a bit of happiness.”
-
“I did
not believe in the war. I thought it was wrong to go
into any war. And I got to the war, and saw the
Germans, and I changed my mind. I decided we were
right going into World War II."
-
“Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About
98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that
no one ever reads.”
-
“Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember
us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember
them for the rest of their lives.”
-
“Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'!”
-
“I'm
in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I
think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get
fired, well, I've got enough to eat.”
-
“It's
paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to
everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.”
-
“I've learned ... That opportunities are never lost; someone will
take the ones you miss.”
-
“My advice is not to wait to be struck
by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn
well decide to have an
idea.”
-
“The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the
opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can
be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.”
-
“Would a real man get caught eating a Twinkie?”
-
“Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not
preclude using your head.”
-
“Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what
happens.”
-
“I understand
shipping -- you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the
freight company -- but what's this handling they always have? How
much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of
people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How
much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to
me?"
-
“I've learned ... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will
dock elsewhere.”
-
“Obscenities ... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they
can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A
lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want
to be just one of the boys.”
-
“I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think
that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough
time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a
painting.”
-
“People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree
with what they already believe.”
-
“We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives
us the feeling we don't make any big ones.”
-
“When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask
if they have any aged pepper.”
-
“I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If
you're lucky, it could happen to you.”
-
“If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t
sit around whining about it. She does something she
wants to do. And, it’s usually something more
interesting.”
-
“I've learned … That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The
closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.”
-
“Writers
don't retire. I will always be a writer.”
-
“For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the
milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80
percent of women are against marriage, why? Because
women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a
little sausage.”
-
“I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.”
-
“I've learned … That no matter how serious your life requires you to
be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.”
-
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person”
-
“Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know,
unless it’s a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing
to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or
did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces
a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.”
-
"Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All
this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television.
You don't get any luckier in life than that." -- from his final 60
Minutes essay, Oct. 2, 2011 – he died one month
later at age 92.
We hope that you enjoyed these and have a WONDERMOUS and SAFE Labor Day
weekend!!!!